Why do you see people desperate to “save” a violent dog at all costs, even after repeated attacks? Even when the dog harms another loved one?

Codependency (or any newer label you prefer) often leads people to hyperfixate on a target. This target needs to be more dysfunctional than the person. A distraction basically. It’s hard to pay attention to issues such as a rotting porch in the backyard or a broken fence when your house is on fire, right?

So a person with codependent habits is looking for a dog that overshadows their personal shortcomings and issues to distract from them. This allows people to hyperfixate on the “emergency” as an excuse to ignore the real problems in their lives.

It’s easy for them to fall into a cycle of abuse with a violent dog because often the very environment and lack of skills causing problems in their lives is also what leads to owning unsafe dogs anyway.

A person with codependent behaviors will rarely “see the truth” about an unsafe dog because they are obsessively fixated on the dog as a desperate distraction from other problems. You cannot bring them to the light or change their perspective. They already know on some level and don’t want to see. They want to believe that the dog is so broken, all resources and focus must remain on the dog no matter what.

This also begins to touch on why I argue that what we often call codependency is actually covert narcissism. As the codependent latches fully onto the “broken” dog who “needs a savior” they rigidly apply valuation to themselves as well.

Only they are loving enough, strong enough, amazing enough to handle the dog everyone else gave up on and only they are good enough people to persist.

Narcissism fuels codependency. It allows people to erode boundaries and to justify their behavior even when the dog presents life threatening risk to others. Because others don’t matter to a narcissist. Only the narcissist and their emotional supply matter.

When you come across people hyper fixating on dangerous dogs regardless of the wellbeing of any one else, you have likely discovered a narcissist. Tread carefully, as they do not release their emotional supply without a terrible fight.

This is also why they overreact and become violent rapidly when discussing dogs online. By discussing violent dogs as an issue, you are threatening to remove their emotional supply. It’s similar to if you were to take a bone from a #pitbull with resource guarding issues. They go 0-60 very quickly.

-JL #DBA Editor©️