By Elton Camp

“It breaks my heart to let him go,
But it appears it must be so.

I’ve had Bruiser since he was a pup
And in the proper way brought him up.

Still, it’s only reasonable to expect
That his own welfare he’ll protect.

My yard has a sturdy fence and gate,
But being confined, my Bruiser does hate.

He manages to escape twice a week.
Dare provoke him, you’re up the creek.

With righteous anger he will seethe
If you move, sneeze, or loudly breathe.

Seeing someone old or a little child
Understandably drives my Bruiser wild.

People like that ought to stay inside.
The sight of them is hard to abide.

If Bruiser gives them a maul or bite,
He’s only exercising his natural right.

Why should my neighbors have such fits
If he tears their yappy dogs to bits?

That is exactly what should be expected
When they carelessly leave them unprotected.

And there is absolutely no reason why
To criticize him for mauling the delivery guy.

With me, Bruiser is usually so much fun.
He snuggles and licks, he’s such a hon.

Though I cannot imagine the reason why,
Last week my loving dog tried to make me die.

It must be my fault or something I did wrong.
So to a better owner he now should belong.

To provide his forever home, you may request,
But only if you prove you are the very best.

And it seems only fair to me
That you pay a large rehoming fee.

Message me for an application to fill out.
If I find you acceptable, I’ll give you a shout.”

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